Day TwentyEight.

xone.
too much everything, and i felt physically sick.
not that you noticed because you were so into yourself.
i felt like i was choking and i pushed away,
and you made me feel like there was
something wrong with me.
because i didn't like it.

xtwo.
the surroundings weren't ideal.
but there were times when everything was decent.
there were times when i thought it was okay.
it wasn't in a moment, it was like waiting for an end.
and there was experimentation,
with no excitement.
because you can't create chemistry.

xthree.
the first time everything clicked.
i remember the scent of watermelon.
i remember the scent of something artificial.
wanting and searching and falling.
and always, always looking for something more.
always finding getting something less.
and always hoping that everything would turn out okay.
i remember feeling chemistry.
i remember feeling empty.
hollow, and used.

xfour.
this is what unwanted tastes like.
this is what forbidden tastes like.
cigarettes and spearmint,
stubble and lip piercings.
i remember feeling exhilarated.
i remember feeling like a whore.
this is what curiosity tastes like.
secrets.
half-truths.

xfive.
this is what genuine feels like.
when you're no longer looking for anything because you've already found it.
when you can remember every detail.
like sexual tension and sunny days and starry nights.
and falling into something new.
because this time maybe everything,
will be perfect.