Expectations.

They only set you up for disappointment.

If I never expected anything,
Maybe I would be happy.

take a chance.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, or why I think you might care.
I don’t know why I’m bothering to reach out when I have a feeling you might just push me away.
I guess it’s the fact that I’m holding onto the hope that you might read this and go,
“Hey. I know what she’s talking about. I can relate, and I care.”
Is it stupid to be so optimistic? And to hope that one day people will notice how hard I am trying?
I just wanted to tell someone, that I think you should never, ever give up on the things you care about most.
Promise me, that you will never let those things slide away.
Because believe me, it’s all worth fighting for.
Put yourself out there, bare it all and you have nothing to lose.
Because for every rejection, you can know that you did everything possible to try and make something happen.
For every opportunity that falls away, you can know that you gave it your all.
You will never have to dwell on what could, might, have happened, because you will know.
Fuck, just don’t be stubborn and put everything on the line like I always seem to do.

february.

I really don’t know what the fuck it is that I want to say.
Maybe that I’m not happy, and I’m not ready to face whatever it is that’s tearing me apart.
I don’t mean to be melodramatic, and I don’t mean to say that I have it bad.
Because I don’t, everything is just great.
I am just unable to feel good.
It’s like I can feel everything crumbling and falling apart around me.
And I know tomorrow when I wake up, you won’t necessarily be there.

quote for gabby

you taught me;

Despite all the heart ache..

BR: No one is worth it if you are always going to be back-up; if you are disposable.

JH: Beauty is only skin-deep, and is never satisfying.

DS: Put yourself out there and you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

DK: People change, and you can spend your time missing the person they used to be, or move on and embrace/leave behind the person they have become.

BS: Everything happens for a reason; Don't allow yourself to be used, respect yourself.

CS: Don't set up assholes with friends.


JA: Always allow yourself to dream.

lucky

trying

i'm trying
so hard
to just let go
of my addiction
to maybe be a little bit more
healthy about my consumption
but it's like
the less i have
the more i need
and i just feel weaker
than i did
before
i even bothered trying.

this sickness is overwhelming.
and it's kind of hard to think.
my emotions are blinding me.
and i just
need
this.
before it's too late
and i have nothing left.
nothing left but that
bitter empty feeling
of defeat

just like last time.
just like every time.